


Triple Cog Dare You

by Wrenchit



Series: Literal Treason [1]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Animated (2007)
Genre: Awkward Romance, Cunnilingus, First Dates, First Time, Fisting, Humanized Valves, Kinda, M/M, Secret Relationship, Sticky Sex, Written Accent Blitzwing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-17 09:21:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18962395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wrenchit/pseuds/Wrenchit
Summary: Bumblebee is a cocky, smarmy asshole, so it makes sense that he would fall down a flight of metaphorical stairs into a relationship with someone who could rip him in half. This is all Prowl's fault.





	Triple Cog Dare You

The Autobots loved having Sari around, but it was always a relief when she went home for the night. Being child-friendly wasn’t something they were used to as Cybertronians- their lifecycles were totally different than humans, so who could really blame them?

Ratchet had already gone down for a stasis nap, and Optimus was busy with the communications hub again. The rest of the team was holed up in Prowl’s very-open-floorplan room, playing a game that Sari had introduced to them earlier that week.

“Okay, Prowl! Truth or dare?” Prowl stood loftily above his crewmates, poised perfectly still on a bough of the tree that was serving as roughly half of his ceiling. 

“Truth,” Prowl called down to Bulkhead. “Truth courses through my circuits, Bulkhead. Ask, and I shall free it for you.”

“Alright,” Bulkhead hummed, thinking. He’d already burned through a good portion of his questions between the two bots he was playing with. “Oh! Tell us what you think of Bumblebee!”

“This ought to be good,” Bumblebee sneered.

Prowl’s jaw hinge tightened. Bulkhead was looking up at him so sweetly, he just had to think of something that wasn’t completely annoying about Bee.

“Well, there’s just so much to say about Bumblebee, I wouldn’t know where to begin.”

“That’s okay, take your time.”

Prowl kicked at the tree trunk beside him, trying to think. He really wasn’t a fan of this question. He’d have to pick dare next round.

“Well, he’s very… yellow. And he likes to contribute his opinion to discussions. He’s very fast. And light. Let's see…”

Bumblebee groaned. “Okay, geez, don’t fry a circuit trying to think of something nice!” He turned to Bulkhead. “Let me take this turn on him, I got a good one.”

“Sure, I’m out of questions anyway.” Bulkhead leaned back on his servos, relaxing onto the floor.

“Prowl!” Bumblebee was pointing at him, how obnoxious. “I dare you to eat this human food!” Where had he gotten that bag? 

Prowl sighed, falling against the trunk of his tree. He held a servo up, and Bumblebee threw the bag up to him. It wasn’t a bad shot, honestly, but Prowl didn’t feel like giving compliments. 

The white paper bag was practically soaked with grease, the bottom almost translucent. He opened the bag, peering inside. Cold, limp fast food greeted him. Prowl closed his optics, not that anyone could see.

“How long has this been sitting in your cab?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Bumblebee called up, grinning like an idiot. “Just shove some in your faceplate already.”

Fishing around in the paper bag, Prowl found something at least a bit agreeable with his sensibilities. He held up a single, wilted carton of french fries.

“I’m not touching the processed animal carcass.” He glowered down at Bumblebee, daring him to say something. There were three burgers in the bag, and a small fry, he had to have known that.

“Fiiiiiiiiiine, just do it already!”

Prowl eyed the morsel tentatively, then popped it into his mouth.

Once Prowl was finished evacuating his face port and falling out of the tree, it was his turn to ask. And oh, Primus, did he have a doozy for his stupid little coworker.

“I dare you, Bumblebee, to invite Blitzwing the Decepticon to interface with you!”

Bee gasped, a servo going to his mouth.

“…Who?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, minibot.” Prowl spat out a piece of potato fry, livid.

“No, I seriously don’t know who that is.”

Bulkhead stepped in between the two bots, glaring daggers at Prowl. “That’s enough! Prowl, that’s way out of line, what's gotten into you?”

Prowl spat again. “Roughly enough grease to clog my pipes for the next week.” He stood on the tips of his stabilizing servos, glaring at Bee over Bulkhead’s shoulder. "Come now, Bumblebee, what’s wrong? Afraid?”

“No!” Bumblebee shouted, getting red in the face. Oh, it was about to be on. “I just don’t want to waste my time on a stupid baby dare.”

“Then I triple-cog dare you!”

“It’s dog!”

“Bulkhead, you don’t even know what a dog is!”

“This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard come out of your vocalizer! Have you blown a gasket?”

This was very quickly devolving into a screaming match between Prowl and Bulkhead. Bumble be left them to it, heading back to his room with his processor working overtime. 

If anything Sari had told him was correct- and she knew way more about humans than any of them, so he trusted her- then a triple dog dare was serious business. It was three times as powerful as a typical dare. You basically had to do it, or you’d die. Or a dog would die. Something like that. Regardless, Bumblebee would have to get to work.

Bumblebee stared up at the ceiling, the soft glow of his optics casting unfocused shadows around his dark berthroom. Blitzwing, Blitzwing… which one was that? Tapping the side of his helm, he brought up the database for known Decepticons Optimus had made for strategy planning. Bee may or may not have bothered looking at it until this point. B-L-I-T-Z-W-I-N-G…Bee found the file that matched his query and selected it, greeted by a collection of high-res images from the last few fights they’d been in against the ‘Cons.

“Okay, not bad,” Bee mumbled to himself. He had seen this mech before after all, just hadn’t ever paid attention to what his designation actually was; it wasn’t like they were really on speaking terms. The unstable triple-changer was often on the battlefield along with the other usual suspects. His optics flitted over the images- Blitzwing was certainly a powerful-looking mech, built like a tank- no glitch, genius- and rugged in the face…s. The black one with the bear trap mouth freaked him out a little. Still, this was definitely the best looking one out of the bunch of ‘Cons Prowl could have picked. Bee could stoop to hitting on him to win a game. 

For once in his Autobot career, Bumblebee actually read through the entire document, poring over what little info there was until the sun rose. He eventually slipped into recharge as the light pooled over the windowsill, the holo-display flickering out as his optics shuttered shut.

Bumblebee woke up to the sound of concrete crumbling and missile fire. Jumping off the berth, he scrambled towards the control room. The wall above his door exploded into chunks, blocking his room off behind him.

Bee ran in to find Optimus and Ratchet attempting to keep the entrance to the building intact.

“Well, look who finally came back online!” Ratchet groused, dental plates grit against the strain of his electromagnets holding what looked like roughly three tons of concrete and rebar above the garage door. 

“Bumblebee!” Optimus shouted,”I need you out there backing up Prowl and Bulkhead! The Decepticons found the base!”

With a snappy salute to the boss, Bee tore out of the building, stingers out and at the ready. There was a fight happening towards the back of the lot; he could hear the clangs and laser blasts. Bee went to join his teammates, only to be shot with a clot of quick-drying cement that covered him up to his knee joints. He pulled on his legs, but he was already hopelessly stuck.

From the back lot, a thin, gleaming object flew over the roof of the warehouse and cracked into the pavement right in front of him. “Good morning, Bumblebee.” Prowl said, his olfactory bridge crushed to one side of his face plate.

“Nobody told me the Constructicons were here!” Bee yelled at him. Prowl picked himself up without a response and ran past the yellow bot, aiming at something behind them. “Prowl, get back here and help me, you glitch-head!” 

The sky abruptly went dark. Bumblebee’s anger died on his tongue as he looked up to see a hulking, glowering mech blocking out the sun, targeting system and single red eye shining down coldly. Blitzwing.

Shit, he was even hotter in person.

Blitzwing bent down and grabbed Bumblebee with a single servo, glass windows of his chassis spiderwebbing under the pressure. Pressure which only grew. Bee had to think fast if he was going to live through this.

“Hey, Blitz-brain!”

The hand stilled for a moment, eyebrow ridge raising with curiosity.

“Blue forty-two! Blue forty-two! Hut Hut! Hike-”

With a spin and a snap, Blitzwing’s head switched from a cool grey to inky black, crazed laughter almost preceding it’s appearance. With a particularly brutal wrench, Bee was freed from the cement- well, about seventy-percent of him, anyway. Live wires sparked and twisted metal shrieked apart as his calves and stabilizing servos were left encased in the lumpy pile of cement. Bumblebee was tossed from one servo to the other, before being launched into the sky. Behind him, he could hear the screech of “And it’s goooooood-!” Quickly fading past earshot. As Bumblebee sliced through the air, he passingly thanked Primus for the weekend the cable had been out and he’d been left solely with the earth sports channel. Then he landed in the park, a few miles south of where he’d been.

When he opened his eyes, he found himself face-down in the dirt that had been exposed by his crash-landing. Lifting his helm, he could see the impact zone behind him. There was a hole in the foliage above- he was in the middle of a mass of trees, cut off from the outside world. Sitting up, he assessed the damage. His legs ended in ragged, dully shining stumps, wires and leaking tubing loose from their holdings. His sweet paint job was totally ruined, chips and streaks missing all over his body. And he had just given himself a touchup earlier that week! Bumblebee held his helm, dizzy from the flight he had just taken.

Bzzt!

Bee tapped his communicator.

“Bumblebee, status report!” Optimus. “We saw you go flying. We scared the ‘Cons off for now. What’s your location?”

Bee cleared his throat. “Hey, Boss-Bot. I’m good, thanks for asking. I’m in the park, in the middle of a big ol’ mess of trees. You can’t miss it.”

“Copy that. I’m sending Bulkhead to get you, soon as we stabilize the structure.”

“Yeah, sure. Hey, make sure Ratchet digs the rest of me out of that pile of concrete in the parking lot. I’m gonna need those servos.”

“What do you- Oh Primus, those are his legs.” Optimus was yelling at someone, probably Ratchet. “Yes, I’m aware! Just chisel them out and you can lecture him all you like when he gets back.”

“I’ll send Prowl with Bulkhead to help you get back to base.”

Bumblebee groaned. “Thanks, sounds great. Bye, Boss-Bot.” He hung up without waiting for a reply, just in time for his arm to crumple and drop him back into the dirt. Welp, looked like that was busted, too. It was anyone’s guess how long the repairs would take. He wished he hadn’t unpacked his trunk for once the night before, so he’d have something to do right now. Bee closed his optics against the overpowering cloy of soil. No point in attempting to get up. It would at least make his rescue a bit more dramatic if he were found face-down.

𝘛𝘩𝘶𝘥.

𝘛𝘩𝘶𝘥.

Big, heavy footsteps, like nothing of this earth. Bee sighed. Fragging finally. He was sick of waiting for his team to get here.

𝘛𝘩𝘶𝘥.

Bulkhead sure was taking his sweet time.

𝘛𝘩𝘶𝘥.

Had his buddy put on weight? He sounded heavier.

𝘛𝘩𝘶𝘥.

Wait, Cybertronians didn’t gain weight.

𝘛𝘩𝘶𝘥.

Bee hoped to Primus that massive shadow was just his imagination.

𝘛𝘏𝘜𝘋.

It wasn’t.

There stood Blitzwing, over twice his size and the color of a bruise, looming in the shadows of the trees surrounding Bumblebee’s little clearing. Bee tried to scrabble away with his one good limb, not getting far, and only succeeding in filling his mouth with dirt. He spat, staring wide-opticked at the Decepticon before him. Blitzwing lowered himself to one knee and picked Bumblebee up, placing him upright on his aft, before returning to the gloom of the woods.

“Sorry,”

Bumblee blinked.

“W-what?”

“Sorry,” Blitzwing mumbled, his cold face not looking at him. “For zhe whole zhrowing you zhing. I got excited.”

Bee couldn’t believe this. “Uh, it’s fine, I guess?” One of his windows shattered. “I mean, not really, but I get it. We got jobs to do here. I’m just glad you didn’t crush me like an oil can like it looked you were going to.” Bee smiled up at him, nervous. Blitzwing’s head tilted almost imperceptively.

“Yes, I suppose zhis vould be preferable, vouldn’t it?” Bumblebee nodded. This was really weird, having a conversation with a massive, hulking beast of a mech, who could offline him at any moment, while he was completely vulnerable. It was kind of hot.

And yet he wasn’t.

Also kind of hot.

“Also, your…” Blitzwing gestured vaguely to Bee’s whole lower body. “Sorry about zhat. Truly.”

“Oh this?” Bee turned to look at his stumps, putting a servo on his hip. “This ain’t so bad. Actually, I was kind of wanting some stripes around the thighs, to really accentuate these hot legs of mine.” He traced a finger around the raw metal where his knees had been, circling. “What do you think? Would that be a good look? I don’t want anybody thinking I’m a slut or whatever, but I know I got some frag appeal-“ Bee stopped in his tracks, tongue failing.

Oh. That was the red face. Blitzwing wasn’t saying anything, just staring at him. They were silent for a moment, the distant sound of birds filling in the space.

𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬.

Stony again. Blitzwing rubbed his jaw, considering the tiny bot before him, who’s servo was still wrapped around his thigh. Bee grinned up at him.

“Soooooo, are you busy on Thursday?”

Blitzwing’s eye narrowed. “I don’t know what a Thursday is.”

Suddenly, the trees in the distance began to crack, footsteps thundering into the wood floor. Blitzwing’s head whipped towards the sound, dental plates set on edge. His boosters kicked on, ready to shoot out of sight of the incoming threat.

“Buumblebeeeeee! I’m comin’ for ya, little buddy!”

Bulkhead. Incredible timing.

Bumblebee still had a mission. He flopped towards Blitzwing, just barely grazing the tip of his servo. The ‘Con looked down, mildly confused and moderately annoyed.

“Look, just-“ Bee was scrambling for words. His friends would be here any minute. “Three earth days. Meet me here, after sunset.”

Bulkhead’s steps were coming closer. Bumblebee could almost hear the whizz of Prowl’s engine joining the heavy footfall. He stared up into Blitzwing’s face, optics burning.

Blitzwing gave a single nod, and then transformed, blasting out of sight. The roar of his engines quickly faded away, still ringing in Bee’s auditory processing. Bumblebee fell back in the dappled sunlight, digits curling in the long, candy-green grass, staring up at the hole punched in the foliage, the trails of exhaust blooming up and away. He didn’t want to admit it to himself just yet, but a small smile was dancing across his face.

Bulkhead lumbered into the clearing soon enough, scooping Bee up in his hulking arms and hugging him hard enough to finish shattering the damaged glass in his chassis.

“Whoops.”

He quickly traded Bee off to Prowl, transforming into his vehicle mode and popping the back doors. Prowl tossed Bee in, climbing in behind him. They quickly drove off.

“We heard jet engines on the way here. Blitzwing must have come to try to finish the job.” Prowl rubbed his chin, pondering. It looked like Ratchet had already fixed his olfactory bridge. “He didn’t see you, did he?”

“Uh-” Bee coughed, “Nope! And I didn’t see him! I didn’t even realize he was around. Better get my hearing checked!” He laughed, perhaps a bit too much. Prowl rolled his optics.

Bulkhead cleared his throat, grabbing both their attention. “Prowl, didn’t you have something to say to Bumblebee? Something important?”

Prowl crossed his arms, not looking at Bumblebee.

“Prowl.”

Prowl sighed. “The dare was a joke, alright? I had no intention of trying to make you feel like you had to do something that would get you killed.” He huffed. “It’s not like you could have done it anyway.”

“Prowl!”

Bee coughed, “Wha- but I already-“ he shut his trap, quickly. If he spilled the beans on his little rendezvous he had set up, they would absolutely try to stop him. He’d show Prowl for doubting him. Just like Bumblebee to not take an easy out.

“Haha! Yeah, duh! Of course it was a joke! Like I’d do something stupid as that!” He threw an arm around Prowl’s shoulder, pulling him close. “Fragging ‘Cons, ha! Too funny!”

It was an idea that was sounding better and better in his processor. Which meant it was an absolutely terrible idea.

Back at the base, most of the rubble had been swept into piles, ready for pickup by the city. Detroit wasn’t thrilled with the regular mess its resident giant robots made, but the alternative was only having the baddies live within their city limits, so they made certain arrangements. 

Bulkhead rushed Bumblebee over to Ratchet, dumping Prowl out of his back as he went. It took a few hours, and a lot of squirming on Bee’s part, but Ratchet eventually got him put back together. Hopping up from the table, Bumblebee spun around to get a look at himself.

“I would suggest you not go giving yourself a new paint job just yet." Rachet grumbled, cleaning off his tools as he spoke. "Might need to go back in and adjust some things later in the week.”

It was quite the sight. Where his legs had been welded and wired back together was a thick, raised band of iridescent weld marks, all the way around. It was halfway up his thighs, about as wide as two of his digits, looking very much like a pair of garters.

He could work with this. He absolutely could.

“Now, I’m putting you on strict orders to not be on the battlefield for the next couple days,” Ratchet growled, putting his tools away. “Lots of berth rest, stay off your servos as much as you can, and no rocket boosters, you little nut. I don’t want you ruining all that hard work I just put into your scrappy little body.”

Bumblebee grunted something that was probably an affirmative, and Ratchet just shrugged to himself. Kid would learn the hard way, if need be. 

The next couple of days were filled with a whole lot of nothing. The mess the Decepticons had made of the base meant that a great deal of the wiring in the building had to be redone. That meant no cable. Bumblebee had to busy himself with rewiring the place himself out of sheer boredom, and maybe just a bit of anxiety. Tomorrow night was the date- did he really just use the word date? This was getting dangerous. Bumblebee was really starting to wish he’d said a week and not three days. He worried a fuse between his digits, seated on the floor while he waited for the rest of the team to come back from patrol. They’d been out for a majority of the afternoon, and Bee was starting to get antsy.

Bulkhead came in first, eager to tell Bumblebee about their day out. The others trailed in behind him. As Bulkhead chattered, Ratchet limped over to give Bee a quick check. 

“You’re looking better. I’d say you could probably start racing around tomorrow.” Bee couldn’t help his grin. This was all working out far too well.

“Love it! Thanks, old-timer,” He wriggled out of the med-bot’s hold, deciding to clamber up Bulkhead’s arm. “How about we go to my room and you can tell me all about what happened today?”

Bulkhead smiled and began lumbering down the hall. Bee hopped down from his perch just before they got to his room. He opened the door-

𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘨-

-And then slammed it shut. He leaned against the door, faceplate red.

“Actually, let’s go to your room.”

Bulkhead quirked an eyebrow ridge, but didn’t say anything. They went into Bulkhead’s room, and Bumblebee did his best to pay attention as his friend regaled him with his adventures in saving school buses full of puppies and kittens. What a hero.

Once Bulkhead had worn out the topics of the day, Bee excused himself, zooming into his own room so fast Ratchet yelled at him to turn his boosters off. Safely inside, Bee was finally able to address the elephant in the room. Or rather, the rose bush.

Resting upon his berth, at the end of a trail of loose soil starting from the high window on the far wall, was a massive rose bush full of deep red blooms. It had to be the size of a small convertible- so the size of Bumblebee himself. He approached it carefully, tiptoeing around it. This had to be Blitzwing. But why? Was it beyond him to ‘plant’ a bomb in the Autobot base? It certainly wasn’t for the most random personality. That guy loved a good joke. 

Bee’s digits brushed against leaves, feeling for a stray wire or some hint of a countdown mechanism. He felt paper. Digits closed around it and tugged, revealing a card. He opened it.

̶𝘛̶𝘏̶𝘐̶𝘚̶ ̶𝘏̶𝘈̶𝘋̶ ̶𝘉̶𝘌̶𝘛̶𝘛̶𝘌̶𝘙̶ ̶𝘉̶𝘌̶ ̶𝘎̶𝘖̶𝘖̶𝘋̶.̶

𝘚𝘦𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘸 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵.

;𝘗

A note, from what appeared to be a somewhat conflicted Blitzwing. Was… was this a bouquet? Bumblebee flushed cherry red at the thought. He wasn’t developing a crush, was he? He totally was. Slag, this was ridiculous.

He had to move this thing before anyone saw. The sun was going down. Once he had the cover of darkness, he would plant it up on the roof. No one would think to look there.

The next morning, Bumblebee joined his fellow Autobots for breakfast. Humming to himself, he snagged a can of oil from the supply area and plopped down between Ratchet and Bulkhead. Cracking open his can, he got a nice chug going just as Prowl said:

“Bumblebee, I must say, I’m impressed with your taste in earth flora.”

Bee choked on his drink, oil bubbling out of his mouth and all over his lap.

“No!” He coughed, “No idea what you’re talking about.”

“Bee, you’re covered in dirt and flower petals.” Optimus glared at him, very much minding the fact that his table was being dirtied.

Bee gasped, blushing, as he brushed at the soil clinging to his body. The bush had been difficult to move by himself, and he guessed the cleanup job he’d done was subpar. Before he could say anything, Prowl spoke up.

“Bumblebee’s recently acquired a lovely specimen of hybrid tea roses. They’re up on the roof right now. Bumblebee, if you’re looking to start up a garden, I have some excellent compost I can offer.”

“You stole that bush, didn’t you.” It wasn’t a question. Bumblebee stammered.

“No! I did not!” Might as well go all in. “In fact, a secret admirer sent them to me.” He grinned cheekily as he scrubbed the oil off his face.

“Computer, pull up a database of reports of theft within fifty miles of the base.”

“Optimus, what the frag!”

“Narrow it down to reports involving plants.”

Nothing. Thank Primus. Optimus looked back at him. 

“…I don’t know where you got those flowers, but you better not track dirt in my base again.”

Bee sunk down a bit, giving a half-hearted salute. “Sure thing, Boss-Bot.” He got up from the table, taking his half-full oil can with him. “Thanks a lot, Prowl,” he grumbled, as he headed back towards his room. He’d wait out the rest of the day there.

It was almost time. The sun sat low and heavy in the sky, bright yellows and oranges merging into deep violets and indigos. Bee zipped through the traffic on the freeway, cars honking at him. Blitzwing’s flowers had made him realize he needed to kick things up a notch. Forget a quick meet up, he wanted romance! Something worth remembering. His trunk was filled with the items he’d purchased at the hardware store, paid with Sumac’s emergency credit card. His escape plan had been perfect-

“I’m going out, don’t wait up!”

“Wait-“

“Byeeeeeeeeeeee!”

Perfect.

He turned off the freeway and made his way towards the park. Transforming, he did his best to make it to the wooded area undetected, which was a little hard to do as a sort-of celebrity and also a giant, neon-yellow robot. Bee eventually made it to the tree line, jogging towards the clearing to try to ease his nerves.

The rut he’d dug with his helm was still there. Cool. He opened up his trunk and pulled out the stuff he’d gotten at the store. With a little bit of work, and a lot of good aim, he had his little area set up. This was going to be awesome. Bee glanced towards the west, noting the sun’s final rays. He had a little bit until Blitzwing showed up.

If he showed up.

Bee shook his head. He would be here. He just knew it. Sitting down on the grass, he pulled out a game console Sari had given him to pass the time. The buttons were just big enough for him to handle without mashing all of them at once. The sky grew dark as he fidgeted with the game.

Time passed, each minute making Bumblebee look more towards the tree line and less at the screen. Light was sapping out of the air, turning the green of the leaves above into a muddled violet. 

𝘛𝘩𝘶𝘥.

Here we go. Bee stashed his game in his chassis and dug around for the last piece of his plan. Blitzwing would be here any moment.

Glowing red optics approached, slow, cautious. Blitzwing was standing halfway behind a tree, as if that would remotely hide him.

Bee waved, smiling. “Heya, Blitzwing! Glad you could make it!”

Blitzwing sighed, shoulders relaxing a fraction. He stepped out from behind the tree, entering the clearing proper. He looked down at Bumblebee, mildly amused.

“I see zhat you got my flowers.”

Bee brushed a digit against the rose taped to his chest plate. He felt pretty smooth for that one. He bent down, taking two cords in his servos. “If you like that, you’re really gonna love this,” he said, as he clapped the plug together. 

The clearing burst with light, a heavy humming noise filling the air. Blitzwing screamed, firing his cannon at the source of the sound. An explosion of sparks leapt from the edge of the clearing, and suddenly Bumblebee was being lifted up to a very angry eye-level with Blitzwing.

“VHAT THE SLAG VAS ZHAT?!” Blitzwing roared, cannon trained on the small bot crushed in his servo. “DID YOU HONESTLY ZHINK ZHAT YOU COULD DEFEAT ME VITH SOME UNDERHANDED SURPRISE ATTACK?! I SHOULD DESTROY YOU FOR EVEN DARING TO TRY!”

Bumblebee was frozen, optics like saucers. This was bad. He needed to explain this now, or he was going to be a dead bot.

“Oh Primus! Chill! Chill! It’s a generator!” Bee struggled against the iron grip holding him. If this wasn’t so scary, it might have been kind of hot. “I swear I didn’t drag you here just to offline you!”

“HOW DO I KNOW YOU AREN’T LYING?”

“Do you honestly think I’m smart enough to take out a flyer single-handedly? You’ve seen me fight!”

“ZHAT-“

𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬.

“Is a decently made point.”

Bumblebee really wanted to be mad at that, but he knew that he’d played himself. “Now, if you will put me down gently and without the hissy fit, I’ll show you what the generator is for.”

Blitzwing loosened his grip somewhat, and leaned down to touch Bee’s pedes to the grass.

“No tricks?” Blitzwing’s face still wasn’t totally at-ease.

“No tricks, I swear.”

Blitzwing opened his fist. Bee swiped at his chest, annoyed. “Just got the glass replaced, honestly.” He walked over to the edge of the ring of trees, unplugging the fried generator and plugging the cord into the second generator he had purchased, just in case. 

The trees around them lit up, the soft twinkling of discount Christmas lights throwing a soft, colorful glow around the clearing. They didn’t hang much higher than Blitzwing’s head- Bee was, of course, a bit too short to get them terribly high up. Blitzwing stared, tapping a bulb gently with a digit, transfixed.

“Oh,” he breathed, optic wide.

Yeah, Bee was just that good.

Blitzwing glanced down at him. “I zhink I may already know zhe answer, but why did you ask me to come here?”

“Well, I-” Bumblebee rubbed his neck. “Look, could you come down here, please? I can barely see your face in this lighting. It’s all glowing optics and shadows, it’s creepy.”

Huffing, Blitzwing dropped onto his aft and fixed himself to sit against a pine. The ground shook when he landed, birds flocking away from the impact. Bumblebee was very glad this park closed at seven. 

“I’m vaiting, little bug.”

Bumblebee walked softly, servos clasped behind his back. “I was wondering if you- and feel free to say no! Y’know, no pressure or anything. Would like to…” His faceplate was practically sizzling. “I-Ifyouwouldliketointerfacewithme!” The words spilled out and splattered like wet paint. He shut his optics against his embarrassment, hoping he wouldn’t have to repeat himself.

Cracking one optic back open, he hazarded a peek up at Blitzwing. His mouth was agape, single optic staring down at Bumblebee, his face dusted a deep blue. It looked like he was… twitching? Bee unhunched himself, starting to get a little worried.

Then Blitzwing’s head spun, for the longest Bee had ever seen. One of his faces might have been screaming, if the ebb and flow of noise was any indication. Feeling like this might take a while, Bumblebee started climbing up to sit on Blitzwing’s knee. 

“Blitzy!”

The spinning screeched to a halt, halfway between the icy and hotheaded face. Both looked at him, unblinking. Mildly creepy.

“I just like you, okay?” Bee reached for his face, having to stretch his spinal strut to bridge the gap. He patted a servo against Blitzwing’s helmet. “I’m sorry if this is weird, or it’s confusing, because it’s already really confusing for me and these are really new feelings. But I really just wanted to get you here so I could try to be at least a little decent about it? Y’know, not in the middle of a massive battle, where we have to try to kill each other.”

“Zhis is a lot of work for just a frag,” Blitzwing leaned into Bumblebee’s touch, not looking at him. “Nobody romances a triple-changer, you know.” 

“Well, I did!” Bee shouted. “And I’d say I did a pretty good job of it too.” He was feeling bold now. “You’re really attractive to me, and I don’t really care about your whole talking heads thing. It doesn’t really bother me too much, and I get that you’ve got some issues with it. I get that, I really do. I just like you, that’s why we’re here.”

“AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Shrieking with laughter, Blitzwing held himself, doubling over, his now black face pointed at the ground. Bumblebee barely clung to the knee he was sitting on, being thrown about by Blitzwing’s opening legs. 

A long, worm-like tongue lolled out of Blitzwing’s jack-o-lantern mouth. “HAHAHA! Oh my goodness! Zhank Primus I read zhe room right! Zhat vould have been so embarrassing to send you flowers if you didn’t-” The laughter redoubled. Bumblebee just kind of sat there and let it happen. “I mean, ve hardly even know each other!”

Eventually, the giggles subsided, leaving Blitzwing dizzy and panting. 

“I apologize for the outburst,” he said, icy again. 

“Don’t,” said Bumblebee.

“I don’t have to tell you zhat just being here is stupid, and dangerous, and could literally get us killed.” Blitzwing straightened up, loosely cupping a hand near his thigh in case Bee fell. “Zhat being said, I’m totally in.”

Bee perked up. “Great! Awesome! I love it! I have no idea where to start.” He beamed, optics vacant. Despite the fantasizing he’d done the last few days, he’d never actually thought about the semantics of fragging a bot the size of a literal jet. 

“Have you interfaced before?” Blitzwing looked down cooly.

“Yes!” Bumblebee said, indigent. “But it was with bots more or less my own size!” He flailed his arms wildly at Blitzwing, accentuating his point.

Blitzwing hummed. “Zhat could certainly be seen as a problem, if you veren’t used to zhinking. I suppose ve vill just have to be creative.” And with that, he picked Bumblebee up and placed him onto his lips. Bee squeaked and squeezed his legs together, and Blitzwing smiled against his codpiece. 

A bit muffled, he said, “Open up, Bee.” Bee did. His codpiece slid up and port seal released, revealing his chubby spike and valve, both seeming to be rather interested in this turn of events. Blitzwing reached a servo around Bumblebee’s middle, picking him up a bit.

“Hey, what gives?!” Bumblebee squawked, a little eager to get started.

“Relax, I just vant to see vhat I’m vorking vith.” Blitzwing eyed him hungrily, optics sweeping over Bee’s interfacing equipment. He was grinning, and it was at this moment that Bumblebee realized something very, very important.

Blitzwing had a toothgap, right in the middle of his dental plate. 

Bumblebee fucking loved toothgaps. His valve dripped, hitting Blitzwing in the chin.

“Cute.”

Blitzwing dropped him back down, catching his valve in his mouth and lazily rolling his tongue over the whole thing. Bumblebee’s back struts arched, jolting against the intense feeling. It felt like his tongue never ended, just kept going and going so that the friction was never lost. His engine revved, heating quickly as his fans kicked on so his processor wouldn’t melt.

“Blitz- Blitzy!” Bee cried, ready to explode. “I need you to use your teeth! A-ah! I got a weird thing for tooth gaps, so if you could just-!”

Blitzwing raised an eyebrow ridge, but he was fairly certain he knew what he meant by that. Ever so gently, he scooted Bee up against his face and until he was flush with Blitzwing’s dental plates, licking up as he did to push the anterior node into the gap. Bumblebee came immediately.

His optics rolled back in his head, brightening and throwing his faceplate into harsh relief. One of his headlights popped, sizzling in his chest plate, hot hot hot. He may have been embarrassingly loud- hey, it had been awhile, he was allowed. 

“Oh-oh slag! Wow!” He slumped over, weakly pawing at the goggles on Blitzwing’s helmet, feeling as if his struts had turned to bags of milk. Limp-wristed, he wiped away the transfluid that had leaked from his spike onto Blitzwing’s faceplate, and stuck his digits in his mouth. He licked his servo clean, winking down at Blitzwing.

Blitzwing placed warm servos on Bumblebee’s back, letting him slide back off his face and cradling the still-quivering minibot. Bee looked up at him goofily, listening to the purr of both their engines mix together.

“You popped your codpiece, didn’t you?”

Blitzwing shrugged, his head clicking. “Vhat can I say, I like eating valve.”

The corner of Bee’s mouth pulled. “You okay there, bud?” He pointed at his own face for emphasis.

Blitzwing huffed. “Hothead tends to come out vhen I am feeling… passionate.”

Bee snorted. “Hothead is what happens when you get horny?”

“And other zhings!” The clicking intensified slightly.

“Alright, alright,” Bumblebee pushed himself up on his elbow joints. “Let me down, and we’ll unleash the beast.” Blitzwing had half a mind to dump him on the ground. 

He set Bee down on his knee. Bee slid down his thigh, bumping into his hip with a clonk. Clambering off his lap, Bumblebee hit the ground and rolled. It was Blitzwing’s turn to snort.

“That was super cool and you know it, so shut up!” It really wasn't. Bee got on his knees in front of Blitzwing’s array, taking it in. All of the equipment was a deep purple, biolights going from neon blue, to red, to what could only be described as a blacklight. The valve was plush, anterior node glowing softly in the hazy light of the clearing. His spike loomed over Bumblebee, casting a shadow on his helm. Bee was eyeing that spike pretty hard.

“I am not going to rip you in half, so don’t even zhink about it,” Blitzwing said. “At least not tonight. You’re not equipped for it right now.”

Blitzwing’s spike was actually a little small for his size, but it was still large enough to seriously hurt a minibot if they hadn’t extensively prepared beforehand. The last time he had fragged one with it, the poor guy had actually gotten stuck. They’d had to cut him in half to get him off. Poor what’s-his-face.

“Fine, fine,” Bumblebee grumbled, optics going from the now-forbidden spike to the cushy valve lips. He opened and closed a servo. “Hey, how many digits do you think I could fit in your valve?”

“You could probably get all five in, vith a little effort,” Blitzwing deadpanned. “Vhy not give it a shot?”

“O-oh,” Bumblebee mumbled, blushing. “Cool.” And then he punched a fist into Blitzwing. 

“AGH!” 𝘊𝘓𝘐𝘊𝘒. Blitzwing shouted, servos reaching for Bee as if wanting to strangle him. “BUMBLEBEE ZHAT’S NOT HOW YOU FIST SOMEVONE, YOU GLITCH”

“Ah, sorry!” Bumblebee sucked on Blitzwing’s node, slightly in apology, and mostly because he was ready to see this behemoth of a mech overload already. Blitzwing groaned above him, servos falling to grip at his knees. 

“ZHAT’S MORE LIKE IT, BUG.”

Bumblebee’s optics narrowed a bit at the sudden nickname, but he kept at it regardless. He lapped at the node, his arm rocking into and out of the pretty purple valve, sinking a little deeper each time. Lube coated his wrist, soaking into all the seams and crevasses in his armor. He was going to need a deep clean after tonight. Maybe he would go jump in the lake before heading home. 

As he went deeper, Bee opened his fist and started playing with the sensory nodules lining the inside of Blitzwing’s valve. He pushed up harshly, making the mech above him pant. Blitzwing was not a quiet lover, as it turned out; his moans were more akin to shouts, and his mouth was positively filthy. 

“FRAG ME, FRAG ME UNTIL I CUM ALL OVER YOUR FACE” 

Bee couldn’t help but wonder where he learned a word like that, as he wrote out the Cybertronian alphabet with his tongue.

Blitzwing came hard, his valve clenching around Bumblebee’s wrist hard enough to start sucking him in. Above, his spike erupted, transfluid gushing and splattering on top of Bee’s helm and shoulders. Bumblebee was very glad he’d rolled up his windows- this stuff was a nightmare to get out of vinyl seating.

Blitzwing sighed contentedly, before returning to his standard, steely demeanor.

“Heya, Icy.” Bumblebee said, surprised. “That was fast.”

“Post-overload clarity is very real, I assure you.” Blitzwing reached down and wiped his transfluid off of Bee, grimacing slightly at the sticky mess covering his servo. Bee stuck his tongue out and lapped at a digit as it passed by his face. “Vell, aren’t you a little deviant?” He grinned. Blitzwing scooted back, going to stand, arm resting against the pine. 

Bee looked up through the hole in the foliage. The moon greeted him, bright and full.

“Yeah, I guess it’s about time to get going,” he scuffed a stablizing servo into the dirt. “Boss Bot’ll be looking for me if I’m out all night, and I don’t even wanna know what Megatron would do to you!” Blitzwing cringed. Bumblebee unplugged the generator, its growl dying down into the plinking of a ticking engine. The gentle light around them faded into nothing.

“Thanks for coming out here tonight,” Bee held out a servo. “I had fun.”

Blitzwing hesitated, then took it gently in his own and they shook. “I did too.” He let go.

Bumblebee began heading back towards the road, picking at the tape still stuck to his chassis, the rose looking much more wilted and somewhat crushed.

“So, vhen can I see you again?”

Bee turned. Random spun away, leaving a blushing, icy-looking and very tight-lipped Blitzwing standing in the middle of the clearing.

Bumblebee smiled. “How about next week?”

Blitzwing blinked. Oh, right.

“Seven earth days. You gotta learn your Earth days, Blitzy.”

Bumblebee collapsed onto the couch, feeling like his struts had melted. It had been a good night, probably the best he’d had since before boot camp.

“You’re back late.”

Bee almost shrieked, suddenly noticing Prowl sitting on the opposite side of the couch.

“Good night?” Prowl’s head tilted, optics catching something. Bumblebee covered the spot where he might have had breasts if he were human, feeling a bit exposed. “Is that a paint transfer? What color is that, tan?” Prowl leaned in a bit.

“Uuuuuuuuuuh…”

“You’re covered in them, even on your-” His optics rested on Bee’s somewhat dented and purpled codpiece. There was a small zapping sound, which might have actually been Prowl’s processor rebooting. He looked up in horror.

“Bumblebee, you didn’t.”

“Yeah, well,” he shrugged. “I guess I won Truth or Dare!”

Prowl pinched his olfactory bridge. 

“Bumblebee, you stupid piece of shit.”

**Author's Note:**

> First fic, let me know what you think.


End file.
